Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Wanda Knows - Morals

Episode 7: Wanda Knows - Morals

The Background: My sister is one of the purest, most innocent and sweet people you will ever meet. She is awesome. So one day she was talking with one of her friends.

Friend: "Wanda, Do you want to come watch a movie with us?"

Wanda: "Which movie?"

Friend: "(says name of movie... We couldn't remember what it was)"

Wanda: "Oh no, I can't watch that."

Friend: (baffled) "Why it's rated G?"

Wanda: "It has Choreography in it!" Shocked that her friend would recommend such a thing...

Later she explained it to me...

Wanda: "Celeste Choreography is bad. It's where people don't have enough clothes on and I don't want to see it!"

I have such a wonderful sister! Now that's devotion for ya. Stand up for what you believe in and never back down!

Wanda Knows - Religion

Episode 6: Wanda Knows Religion

Looking back into the recesses of the past I have retrieved some priceless gems that beg to be shared as they are truly worth sharing.

The Background: We were reading a book about our great great great grandfather Benjamin Brown and how he came to gain his testimony and all of the research that he did concerning other sects while he looked for the truth.

Wanda: "Wait. He was researching other Sects? What's Sect?"

Dad: "What?"

"So if someone asked me what sect I belonged to could I just say female?"

There you have it, never be confused again.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Wanda Knows "Swear Words"

Episode 5: Swear word. {not what you might think... but then again you knew that}

Wanda: (Singing) baa baa black sheep have you any wool? yes sir, yes sir... (stops). You know, I never knew that that song had a swear word in it. Well it's used in the correct way so they're not actually swearing, but it's still a swear word.

{ I quickly ran through the words in my head and tried hard to remember if there was possibly a verse I couldn't remember. I came to the conclusion that there was a very good and in fact very likely chance that I didn't remember the whole song. But I couldn't think of why they would put a swear word into a child's nursery rhyme. - So naturally I figured I should find out }

Celeste: What do you mean?

Wanda: (looks baffled like, Celeste you should know this...) Well, you know it says that bad word. I mean they do use it correctly but it's still a swear word.

Celeste: Which one?

Wanda: (kind of nods her head and waits like she thinks I'm about to figure it out. Then realizing that me and everyone else doesn't have a clue what she's talking about she goes for the plunge.)The word for a female dog... one for my master and one for my... (pauses and waits while we all realize what she's saying.)

When we told her that that wasn't actually even bad word she was so confused and said "wait well then what's that female dog one?" No one wanted to tell her but someone did say that it started with a B.

Wanda: "Oh, that one."

We just left it alone not wanting to know if she had indeed figured it out or not.

Since I had a guess what dame meant but didn't know for sure I looked it up. I thought it was a slightly derogatory reference to a lady but I was surprised by what I found in addition to that.

1. (initial capital letter) (in Britain)
a. the official title of a female member of the Order of the British Empire, equivalent to that of a knight.
b. the official title of the wife of a knight or baronet.
2. (formerly) a form of address to any woman of rank or authority.
3. a matronly woman of advanced age; matron.
4. Slang: Sometimes Offensive. a woman; female.
5. Ecclesiastical. a title of a nun in certain orders.
6. a mistress of a dame-school.
7. Archaic. the mistress of a household.
8. Archaic. a woman of rank or authority, esp. a female ruler.