Friday, January 30, 2009

Wanda Knows "Gone With The Wind"

Episode 15: Wanda Knows "Gone With The Wind"

The Background: I was over at Wanda's house and she was talking about how dumb it is that people swear in movies.

Wanda: If I could I would go back to the first movie that swore, you know "Blowing in the Wind" and take that one word out."

Celeste: "What?"

Wanda: "Well Ammon was saying that 'Blowing in the Wind' was the first movie that swore and after that it became acceptable. So if I took that one word out, maybe it wouldn't be a problem now."

(Ammon had actually said that in Gone With The Wind they swore for the first time in front of a woman. But the best part is 'Blowing In The Wind')

Wanda Knows "Fraulein"

Episode 14: Wanda Knows "Fraulein"

The Background: Mom and Dad were watching The Sound Of Music the other day. Wanda walked into the room just as Maria was running up to the front of the Vontrapp mansion.

The Butler guy comes to the door and she says something along the lines of "I'm the new governess captain!" and he says "And I'm the old Butler Fraulein."

Wanda: "Oh!" (very excited) "I thought he always said 'I'm the old Butler for alarm!' But he says her name Fraulein!"

(for alarm?!)

When asked what she thought this meant later her response was "It didn't make much sense to me but I thought that it should.")

Monday, January 26, 2009

In Wanda's Defense

Update: OK so the last Wanda Knows (America) was a slight misrepresentation. I got the information from my brother who told it as he heard it. But then I was talking to Wanda and she thought that she was saying "Mexico" and that is what she meant. That Mexico (not 'New Mexico) is not part of the United States.

I'm still a little confused about how it all worked out, and who said what, and what they were trying to say. But, no matter how you look at it, it's still good.

Wanda Knows "America"

Episode 13: Wanda Knows America

The Background: My brothers were talking to my dad and one of them while trying to find a car asked "Dad is New England in America?" This spurred a thought in my other brother Jake...

Jake: "Why do we have states that are 'New' this and 'New' that like "New Mexico" and "New Hampshire?"

Wanda: Exasperated "Jake," (like duh) "The United States doesn't name them. America does. Because New Mexico isn't in the United States, it's in America."

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Wanda Knows "Morning Sickness"

Episode 12: Wanda Knows Morning Sickness

The Background: We are up in Salt Lake City with my cousin Loren and his wife, Jessica, who is expecting their first child. Jessica mentioned morning sickness, and that's when it began...

Wanda: "Wait what is morning sickness anyways?"

Jessica: "It's when your pregnant and you throw up in the mornings, and don't feel well."

Wanda: "OOOHHH! O.K. That makes more sense."

K.C.: "Why? What did you think morning sickness was?"

Wanda: "I thought it was when you were really sad. You know like 'Mourning Sickness'?"

K.C.: "So you could say, 'Fred what's wrong?' and he'd say 'Oh you know my aunt just died and I've got mourning sickness real bad today.' Like that?"

Wanda: "Yeah, it never even occurred to me that it was MORNING sickness, and that you got sick in the morning."

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Wanda Knows "KO!"

Episode 11: Wanda Knows K.O.

The Background: Wanda was watching my brother play a boxing game on the xbox. He won the round and big letters flashed across the screen "KO!" Later on:

Wanda: Celeste do you know what "KO" means?

Celeste: "I'm guessing it means Knock Out."

Wanda: Seems bummed out. "Oh, O.K. never mind."

K.C.: "Why what did you think it meant?"

Wanda: "Well I was watching Nephi play this boxing game and it looked like the people that were boxing were Japanese. When he won the round "KO!" popped up on the screen. So I thought maybe it was Chinese for "O.K.!"

Friday, January 9, 2009

Wanda Knows "Razor Refills"

Episode 10: Wanda Knows Razor Refills

The Background: This is the second burst of knowledge that we got from Wanda on our way home.

Wanda: "I had a razor that had the replaceable tips. And I had 4 boxes of extra tips."

Celeste: "Cartridges? Refills? Blades?"

Wanda: "Yeah those. It's so funny because I never knew how they worked. I figured out how to get them off and put another one on but I thought that when you put it back in the holder that it sharpened them.

I had 4 boxes of refills so I would use a blade till it got dull and then put it back in the holder and get another one. When that case was empty I would start on the next one. Then when I finished that case I'd go to the next one and when then were all gone I'd go back to the first. It wasn't working very well because they were still dull. But I used them anyways."

Celeste: "You thought that the case sharpened your old razor blades for you?"

Wanda: "Yeah!"

Celeste: "So how long have you been waiting for them to get sharp?"

Wanda: "I've had the same 4 boxes since I was 12." (She's about to turn 16) "But I just threw 2 of them away."

Celeste: "Wow! (very impressed by the perseverance) So you still have the other 2 boxes?"

Wanda: "Yes."

Celeste: "That you've had since you were 12?"

Wanda: "Yes."

Celeste: "They're not getting any sharper. Why do you still have them?"

Wanda: "I don't have the money to get more. It's better than nothing."
(I don't think I agree! Ouch!)

Wanda's response to my "Ouch!" - "It doesn't hurt, it just doesn't cut 'em all the way. At least it's not hairy like a dog." Pauses as I start to type... "I should have waited to say that hu?" Groans "I get myself into such trouble!"

Wanda Knows "Telephone Poles"

Episode 9: Wanda Knows Telephone Poles.

The Background: Wanda Knows fans, buckle up! In a short ride from Hurricane to home we had 3 of the most enlightening experiences. In a matter of minutes the next 3 Wanda Knows episodes poured out! I guess the long drought has meant that now it's time for the flood.

Driving home from Hurricane we rounded a corner as we neared the freeway on ramp. K.C. was trying to answer a phone call and his phone said that the "call was lost".

Wanda: "Yeah phones never work very good right here. It's funny because they don't ever work even though we're driving right under these telephone poles."

Celeste: "Yeah that is funny, especially since telephone poles don't even have anything to do with these phones."

Wanda: "Well if they don't have anything to do with phones why are they called telephone poles? And what are they for?"

Celeste: "What do you think they're for?"

Wanda: "I don't know, I always just thought they were these big tall poles towering above us that acted all powerful and that they were what made it so you could talk on the phone. That's why when you're driving through a canyon or a place where there are no telephone poles your phones don't work."

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Wanda Knows-Ratings

Episode 8: Movie Ratings

The Background: What a good way to start off the new year! Tonight Elle was talking about Kung Fu Panda and asking if we could watch it. As the extra cherry on top of her plea she added "it's rated PG for Panda Goodness!"

Wanda: For the longest time I thought that
G meant Good,
PG meant Pretty Good and
PG-13 meant "Not Very Good" but I don't know why.

(We had had a conversation similar to this one before her realization of their real meanings, several months before Wanda Knows began. So I forgot all the details of the discovery of the true meanings but remembering is still pretty good. So all you loyal Wanda Knows fans, happy new year!)