Saturday, March 7, 2009

Wanda Knows Noses

Episode 19: Wanda Knows Noses

The Background: Craig has a very runny nose and it has been running constantly all day.

Wanda: "How can a nose hold that many boogers it's not that big, where do they all come from?"

Celeste: Tracing a line on my nose and up onto my forehead trying to show where the sinuses are "your sinuses go further than just the length of your nose"

Wanda: Her eyes got big and wide "It goes all the way up by your eyes! Is that why sometimes you get boogers in your eyes?"

Wanda Knows Kentucky

Episode 18: Wanda Knows Kentucky

The Background: So after going to Olive Garden (as mentioned in Wanda Knows Episode 17) Wanda stayed the night at our house. K.C. made french toast for breakfast and served it with orange juice. After the meal we were all cleaning up and Wanda Started to read the orange juice bottle.

Wanda: "Florida's Natural brand, premium, NOT from Kentucky! From Florida and Only Florida!" She starts laughing. "That's so funny! I guess they have something against Kentucky!" Then she reads it again. "Florida's Natural brand, premium, NOT from Kentucky! From Florida and Only Florida! I guess they want you to know that it's not from Kentucky, I can just see the guy siting there, 'I don't like Kentucky! We're going to put 'not from Kentucky' on all of our bottles!' I can't believe they can get away with that.

Here's a picture (courtesy of K.C.) of the very container that she was reading.

As I started to type this Episode Wanda still had no clue that it didn't say Kentucky. And she couldn't figure out why I was making a 'Wanda Knows' out of it. Then I let her read the picture. She very slowly and carefully started at the top and read each word. when she got to "Premium" she paused and said 'oh no... no, it does say premium.' then she continued on till she got the the fabled 'Kentucky' where she stopped and then after several seconds just hung her head!

Wanda: "You guys must have changed it because it didn't say that before!"

disclaimer: This container was in no way tampered with or altered it is shown in the picture in its original condition.

Wanda Knows Coffee

Episode 17: Wanda Knows Coffee

The Background: last night, (Friday) we went with Mom and Dad and Wanda to Olive Garden to celebrate mom and dad's anniversary. Craig grabbed one of the sweetener packets that was on the table and started playing with it. On the front of the packet it said Caffè la Toscana. Wanda picked one up to see what it was....

Wanda: "Oh no Craig, you shouldn't play with that, it's coffee"

Celeste: "What?"

Wanda: Showing me where it said Caffè "It's Coffee, or Caffee, yeah Caffee. So you pour it in your drink."

Celeste: Trying to figure out what she was saying. "So if you pour this into your hot chocolate it turns it into coffee?"

Wanda: "I was right?" but then she saw the laugh that I was trying to suppress and cautiously said "No, that's not what I meant."

Celeste: "Oh well what did you mean?"

Wanda: "Well It's Caffeine so when you put it into your caffeinated drink it makes it more caffeinated. Right?"

Oh Wanda, Wanda, Wanda

Wanda Knows Velociraptor

Episode 16: Wanda Knows Velociraptor

The Background: Wanda was talking to my brother and was informed that the way she was saying Velociraptor was not right. So she set out on a mission to prove that it wasn't just her that said it that way so...

She came with my parents to bring Craig back yesterday and the first thing she says to me is "Celeste what is that smaller dinosaur that is really mean?"

My guess was "a Velociraptor?"

She looked all disappointed. and mumbled "Yeah."

Then she perked up and said "K, I'm going to ask K.C. the same question so don't tell him what you said." She was extremely put out when K.C. hadn't even seen Jurassic park and only could remember like 4 dinosaur names. When he was told that it ended with 'raptor' he said "Oh you mean Velociraptor?"

Wanda: Completely bummed out "All right".

So Wand this sounds good, what did YOU think it was?

Well I was talking to Ammon and I said 'Ammon we found this huge dinosaur bone in the back it's probably a flossaraptor bone!'

"a what bone"

"A flossaraptor bone"

"how did you say that?"

"A flossaraptor"

"What does it start with?"

Very emphatically "F"

"Are you sure?"


"Oh!" Dad and him couldn't hold it in any longer and burst into laughter.

"What? What does it start with?"

"It starts with a V and it's said Velociraptor."

Her world was officially wrecked. "They've always been flossaraptors!" she said in dismay. "That is so weird to me, I honestly and truly thought that it was called a flossaraptor. I've always called it that!"

There you have it folks, Wanda knows!