Wanda Knows Cooking

Episode 23 - Wanda Knows Cooking

Background:

I've been staying out at mom and dads and Wanda decided to make Creamy Wheat. I walked into the kitchen in time to see her scooping water into a big bowl on top of the cup of Creamy Wheat that was in the bottom of the bowl. (It appeared as if there were 4 or 5 cups of wheat stuff in the bottom of the bowl, even though there was only one). Knowing that she was trying to only make 2 servings I asked.

Celeste: Um, Wand, just a little bit makes quite a lot. Did you know it's going to at least double?

Wanda: (very decidedly) Oh I'm following the ingredients.

Celeste: Hu?

Wanda: I'm just following the ingredients on the package, and this is what it said to put in.


Celeste: (chuckling) That's good Wand, you do that!

She stirred it together for several minutes and it just wasn't working

Wanda: This is going to take a long time.

Ang: You do need to cook it or it will never become the soft cereal that you want.

So she again looked at the "ingredients" and and sure enough it said to boil the water before you put in the wheat. Ah the secret to making Creamy Wheat. You must boil the water. Remember to check those ingredients before you start cooking next time!

Wanda Knows - Original

Episode 22: Wanda Knows Original

The Background: This is good folks, this is really good! It all started when Wanda was hanging out with some of her friends. One of the friends arrived later than the rest and she was dressed very differently with bright colors and all sorts of different articles of clothing that combined to make quite the outfit.

Friend 1 (to the new girl): "Wow that's very original... I like it."

Wanda: confused and rather loudly "oh, I think it looks kinda different"

Everyone turned to look at her, completely confused. It was then and there that she decided that she needed to figure out what the rest of the world thought 'original' meant. So she went home and asked dad.

Later... we came over and she sat me down and said "Celeste what do you think 'original' means?"

Celeste: "Well it depends on what you're referring to, but in general it means something different or new."

Wanda: "Well I know that that's what it means now, but all of my life I thought it meant something else."

Celeste: "Oh really? What?"

Wanda: "I thought it meant 'normal, or just like everybody else.' Like my black skirt it's pretty average and lots of people have one like it so I would have said 'This skirt is very original.' Your skirt is very different looking so I would say 'it's very unique.'

K.C.: "So if someone told you to do something original you'd come back with something run of the mill and totally confuse everyone."

Wanda: "Pretty much"

There ya go. Now that you all know what original really means, I hope you strive to be a little different and unique and not so original!

The rest of the story - Wanda was talking to me later again. "I still can't believe that that's what original means! It seems totally wrong to me. That's like saying sad means happy. I just can't believe it! It contradicts everything I've ever thought."

Wanda Knows - Landscaping

Episode 21: Wanda Knows Landscaping

The Background: My brother Jake and Dad were talking about what to do with the back yard, Jake had just tilled.

Jake: "We're going to have to level it somehow."

Dad: "The only way to get this level is by hand or with a machine, it's just how much effort we want to put into it."

Wanda: pipes in..."Why won't a rake work?"

Wanda Knows - Curling Irons

Episode 20: Wanda Knows Curling Irons

The Background:
Wanda had a birthday in April. For that birthday Ammon, Nephi and I got her some hair accessories and among them was a very nice curling iron and straightener. She's always asking to borrow mine so I figured she could use one of her own.

Several days later....

Wanda: "Celeste I'm really glad that you gave me that curling iron. It's really nice. But either I don't know how to curl hair or it doesn't work on my hair. I curled Annie and Elle's hair and it worked great! But today I tried to curl mine and it wouldn't do ANYTHING. I would even hold it on one strand FOREVER! Nothing!"

I didn't have any suggestions other than turning the heat up a little. She said it was all the way up.

Several days later Wanda came over to our house again...

Wanda: "Celeste, I found out why the curling iron doesn't work."

Celeste: "Oh really? Why?"

Wanda: "It wasn't on!"

Celeste: "Oh!!! Well that would definitely do it!"

Wanda: "I plugged it in but I didn't know you had to turn it ON! It works great now."


Wanda, Wanda.

Wanda Knows Noses

Episode 19: Wanda Knows Noses

The Background: Craig has a very runny nose and it has been running constantly all day.

Wanda: "How can a nose hold that many boogers it's not that big, where do they all come from?"

Celeste: Tracing a line on my nose and up onto my forehead trying to show where the sinuses are "your sinuses go further than just the length of your nose"

Wanda: Her eyes got big and wide "It goes all the way up by your eyes! Is that why sometimes you get boogers in your eyes?"

Wanda Knows Kentucky

Episode 18: Wanda Knows Kentucky

The Background: So after going to Olive Garden (as mentioned in Wanda Knows Episode 17) Wanda stayed the night at our house. K.C. made french toast for breakfast and served it with orange juice. After the meal we were all cleaning up and Wanda Started to read the orange juice bottle.

Wanda: "Florida's Natural brand, premium, NOT from Kentucky! From Florida and Only Florida!" She starts laughing. "That's so funny! I guess they have something against Kentucky!" Then she reads it again. "Florida's Natural brand, premium, NOT from Kentucky! From Florida and Only Florida! I guess they want you to know that it's not from Kentucky, I can just see the guy siting there, 'I don't like Kentucky! We're going to put 'not from Kentucky' on all of our bottles!' I can't believe they can get away with that.

Here's a picture (courtesy of K.C.) of the very container that she was reading.

As I started to type this Episode Wanda still had no clue that it didn't say Kentucky. And she couldn't figure out why I was making a 'Wanda Knows' out of it. Then I let her read the picture. She very slowly and carefully started at the top and read each word. when she got to "Premium" she paused and said 'oh no... no, it does say premium.' then she continued on till she got the the fabled 'Kentucky' where she stopped and then after several seconds just hung her head!

Wanda: "You guys must have changed it because it didn't say that before!"

disclaimer: This container was in no way tampered with or altered it is shown in the picture in its original condition.

Wanda Knows Coffee

Episode 17: Wanda Knows Coffee

The Background: last night, (Friday) we went with Mom and Dad and Wanda to Olive Garden to celebrate mom and dad's anniversary. Craig grabbed one of the sweetener packets that was on the table and started playing with it. On the front of the packet it said Caffè la Toscana. Wanda picked one up to see what it was....

Wanda: "Oh no Craig, you shouldn't play with that, it's coffee"

Celeste: "What?"

Wanda: Showing me where it said Caffè "It's Coffee, or Caffee, yeah Caffee. So you pour it in your drink."

Celeste: Trying to figure out what she was saying. "So if you pour this into your hot chocolate it turns it into coffee?"

Wanda: "I was right?" but then she saw the laugh that I was trying to suppress and cautiously said "No, that's not what I meant."

Celeste: "Oh well what did you mean?"

Wanda: "Well It's Caffeine so when you put it into your caffeinated drink it makes it more caffeinated. Right?"

Oh Wanda, Wanda, Wanda